An IM exchange with collegue Christy regarding a violently sneezing co-worker:

Sara: can we get no respite from these outbursts?
Christy: oooh! we both were alerted by the nasal flugel horn, it looks like. :)
Sara: It's quite a rousing sound. Who needs a morning bugel call?
Christy: I wonder if he plays "good morning starshine" with his nose flute?
Sara: i'd like to mute his flute. i wonder, is it really necessary to sneeze so loudly?
Christy: good question. i think people's sneezes go with their personality, somewhat. would it really make sense, with mr. richwine's personality and demeanor, for him to give a dainty, inconspicuous sneeze? no! he's got to do a lindy-hop-junior-exec-captain-of-the-swing-dance-team-wearin'-my-suspenders-ASHRAE-perfect-attendance-award-alpha-male-lookin'-for-a-little-lady type sneeze.

Really, I'm not a mean person. It's just that this guy is just on the other side of my cubicle wall and every time he sneezes, the force of the blast causes my computer monitor to quiver back and forth.