My new favorite song title: "Keep the Bugs Off Your Glass and the Bears Off Your Ass".

Referral of the day:

Google search: Hasselhoff air freshener.

All I can say is, Dude, Hasselhoff's not the answer

Apparently the old search box (for the 12 hours it was up) drove just about everyone and their mother crazy because I'm still hearing about it. What I'm wondering is why nobody ever e-mails me when something on the site looks good or they enjoy a post? The site can't be all that bad. You keep coming back, don't you?

I barely get the search engine up and running and my sister complains about it looking "kinda bad". Well, being a woman of the people I like to give them what they want. So the box is now smaller and less obtrusive. I hope no one was traumatized by the previous monstrosity.

A search engine has been added to the left margin for your surfing pleasure. It can search this site or the entire web. Whatever tickles your fancy. (You do want your fancy tickled, don't you?)

Very interesting. In the last 24 hours this site has been hit twice by people searching for Shell's Cruisin' Classics. I had no idea these tapes were that popular. Here's a little history on the subject.

Funny how things you see during the day work their way into your dreams. Saturday afternoon I watched a couple of episodes the reality show "Surf Girls" at my friend Cherie's place. That night I dreamed that I was swimming in a competition...in the ocean. Funny thing was, I woke up in the morning and my shoulders, hamstrings, and glutes were sore! All I did Saturday was hang out and play bocce. Maybe I really was swimming...

We got these new vending machines at work and, well, to put it bluntly...they suck. The big problem is that they only take quarters. They're kind of like giant gumball machines because you put your quarters in the slots, turn the knob, and manually release the desired food item. Quite antiquated. But also a major nusance for me because I am used to paying for all my vending machine items with dimes and nickels so I can save my quarters for parking. They did install a change machine so you can change a dollar bill for four quarters, but I want a way to get rid of my midrange change. Sorry about the tirade, but I'm starving this morning because I had a pair of Oreos for breakfast and when I ran up to the vending machine for relief, I found I was out of luck since my handful of dimes and ten-dollar bill will get me nothing. All I want are some Poptarts! Is that so much to ask?

Many thanks for the outpouring of sympathy for Homesick Sara.

I am homesick.

It's frustrating when several people in one day ask you, "Are you okay?" I really appreciate the concern and I know they mean well, but what runs through my head is, "I must really look like crap."

Sometimes I wish that the world would just stand still for a few days so I could catch up to it.

Now is one of those times.

I love doing workouts from my new yoga DVD, but I'm having a problem. You see, it gets warm in my little apartment when I work out. Having no air-conditioning, I have to turn on my ceiling fans to cool the place down. But with my low ceilings I run into a problem: as soon as I am feeling centered and balanced in tree pose and begin to stretch out and extend my arms, thunk thunk thunk, I'm roused from my reverie as my hands get caught in the fan blades. I know, it's a rough life I lead.

Weird referral of the day:

Google search: The Hot Chick Handclap.

Okaayyy....

Man, is it great to be back at work. Those two days I took off last week were a total drag. I mean who wants to spend time riding rollercoasters and hanging out in the sun with friends when I could be hanging out here with my butt planted in a chair 10 hours a day. I really missed the frantic phone calls, the beligerant e-mails, and that delightful weight of responsibility. Oh well, I guess you gotta take the bad with the good, right?

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm a dork. Last night when I heard someone telling a story about getting hit over the head with a beer bottle, my first thought was, "I wonder which would hurt worse, if the bottle broke or if it didn't. Theoretically if the bottle broke, a lot of force would be released when it shattered. Whereas if the bottle held strong, your head would take the full force of the blow. On the other hand, you'd have to get hit aweful hard for the bottle to break."

What can I say? I'm a nerd.

I was flipping through my Pocket Ref this morning, looking for a conversion factor when I came across a unit of measure I had never seen before: the jigger. Apparently a jigger is:

- 0.059 fifths
- 1.5 fluid ounces
- 0.09375 pints
- 1.5 pony (?)
- 1.5 shots

Consider yourself enlightened.

If you have any interest whatsoever in jazz, I strongly suggest you track down and purchase These Are the Vistas, the debut album by The Bad Plus. I'm not sure exactly how to categorize this album that often leans toward the deconstruction of freestyle jazz (a genre I don't normally appreciate). Most freestyle-type jazz has a cold, snobbish feel, much like, say, a museum of modern art. But this album is warm, fun, and dare I say, almost jubilant. It's evidence that, as advanced as digital and electric instruments have gotten, there is still no substitute for real piano and stand-up bass. They bring an equally intimate and grandios feeling that cannot be imitated by a machine. I've never heard jazz with so much joy. Even if you're not a big jazz fan, this album is worth it just to hear a jazz "deconstruction" of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Now there's something you don't hear every day.

What are you having for dinner? I'm having Chang's chicken with real rice. Not that grainy, fake Minuiterice. I'm talking nice, plump, sticks-together-in-clumps real rice. Beat that!

There's just something about pin-striped pants that make me feel good. Don't know what it is, but I when I wear them, I just feel...sharp. Whether if its with a suit coat or a wife-beater, heels or flip-flops, I love my pin-striped pants.

We really need to work on having weekends more often. They're always over far too soon. Friday night I had a great dinner at P.F. Chang's (if you ever get a chance to eat at this restaurant, please do) and then on to some fun and games at Dave & Buster's. I couldn't think of a better way to unwind after a long week at work. And I gotta say that the both the rafting and luging simulator games they have there are a blast. Every now and then you need a D & B night. It's like a Chuck E. Cheese for big kids!

After a crazy week of problems galore at work, it's finally the weekend. Let the unwinding begin!

Well, I made it through the night without any nasty dreams. I even watched The Ring last night (shiver) and I still slept quite soundly. I'm probably jinxing myself for a fitful night tonight....

I'm worried that I might start having nightmares. Our office is being renovated, so they keep moving people out of areas and closing them off with these big plastic curtains while they work on them. Each day the plastic keeps inching closer and closer to my space, closing me in. I can just see myself having a dream tonight where I'm being suffocated by one of those plastic partitions. (cue the "Psycho" theme...)

Think you've got what it takes to be U.S. National Air Guitar Champion?

As I was typing up the doo-whop backup for the last post I was reminded of a friend of mine from college, Joe. Joe is one of the most laid-back people I've ever met. We called him "Doo-dee-doo" and here's why: He had this casual, carefree air and when he walked you could almost hear a cheery "doo-dee-doo-dee-doo..." I'm not kidding. He just had this wonderful Jimmy Buffet vibe going on that just made you feel like kicking back by a pool with a margarita. I think we all need to be more like Doo-dee-doo.

Waking up hard to do... (dum doo-dee-doo dum dum)

All right. After some serious nagging from my sister Abby and my friend Leta, I've got the first of the "new blog features" up and running. The observant among you will have noticed that Mailbag has been added to the left-hand column. This is the new page I have set up that is dedicated solely to interesting e-mail I receive. I did this to encourage people to write and comment on the page or just life in general and to be a sort of message board for the people in my life or maybe even the nutjob I don't ever want to know.

....and so that My Back Pages can get back to being all about me!

Blog activity was up for the month of June. If you could see me, you'd know I'm beaming with pride.

Argh! I am currently on hold on a software tech support hotline. Unfortunately I am finding out that they know even less about their software than I do. They are finally willing to concede that the software cannot do what I need it to do, but are still adamant that there is a way around the problem by manipulating inputs to simulate a similar condition. They are wrong. I'm determined to get an outright confession that their software is useless. I may be waiting a little while...

Okay. I'm back from my blog vacation. During my down time I traveled to DC for work and got stranded there, celebrated the 4th, and battled with ftp clients to try to improve and widen the scope of this blog. Once I get these new blog features up and running, I'll get back to my usual blog schedule. (Same blog time. Same blog channel.)