I think I am in way over my head. I decided to join a fantasy football league...and I know nothing about the NFL. Okay, maybe not nothing. I'd say I know as much as the average female, but the doesn't say a whole lot, does it? While most of the others in the league were fretting over their draft priority list, I was agonizing over my team name. I wanted something clever, but not cute, not too feminine, yet not too masculine. Mirm suggested that I draw inspiration from my town of residence, Butler (lovingly called Butt-town) and so I reluctantly decided to name my imposing team the Hemorrhoids. Now this may seem a bit strange to most, but I think it will make a perfect analogy (no pun intended). You see, because of my limited football knowledge, my team will not likely be beating up on anyone, but I think I've got enough good players to make a go of it. So the hemorrhoids probably won't kill anyone, they'll just be a pain in the butt. And this brings me to the second reason why I chose this name: no matter how old you get, butt jokes never stop being funny.

All right, all right. Next time I'll name my team the Fighting Amish.