I've got a confession to make. I'm hooked on "Joe Millionaire". I know what you're going to say. It's smut, trash, a waste of my time. All of this is true. But it's like that car wreck in the median of the highway. It's just awful, but nevertheless you just can't look away. Besides, there's just something about watching a bunch of shallow, superficial, golddigging women primp and preen, oblivious to the fact that they're about to meet their comeuppance. What surprises me, though, is that I almost feel sorry for "Joe". Almost. Not only does he have the typical male handicap of being completely unable to read women, but on top of it...well...to put it nicely, this guy is definitely not the brightest crayon in the box. I expected him to have difficulty picking up hints, to be clueless as to who the greedy ones are. But this guy struggles to form complete sentences let alone convincingly play the role of a millionaire. Now Fox has tried to cover over this by allowing him to give the girls the whole "hey, I just inheritted the money so I'm new to this whole 'rich guy' thing" excuse. But even with that in his back pocket, the former construction worker still fumbles, getting nervous and clamming up everytime he's asked a question about himself and breaking into a sweat every time his limo drives by a bulldozer. Most guys would relish this role, launching into all kinds of fabricated tales about themselves basking in the adoration of all these attentive women. But this poor neanderthal is so afraid of getting caught, he lets the women drag him around like a lap dog. The whole spectacle is, I'm ashamed to say it, vastly entertaining until I realize that these are actual people in this twisted drama. And then it becomes just plain sad.